(in which patterns are recognized, outcomes are weighed, and resolutions are considered)
We’ve only been live for a month, but I can already feel it happening. If I’m not careful, I’ll fall into the startup trap. I never want to be “that startup guy” – constantly busy, constantly stressed, always one more thing to do before you can relax, always trying to reach the next level before you lose it, always putting off the things you really want to do in service of the thing that’s in front of you, always saying you’ll get to your real life “when things slow down,” which is always about 3 months away but never actually arrives.
To be clear, I’m not to that point yet, but I can see it on the horizon if I don’t do something about it.
Even though we’ve only been live for a month, I’ve been working on this nonstop for five months – days, nights, weekends – all of it without pay. I’m not complaining; that’s part of the gig. That’s what it takes to bootstrap an idea into a company without taking investment, and I’m proud of where we are today. We have a great product, and we’re moving fast for such a small team.
But there are also things that the four of us said we wanted to do, ways we wanted to structure this as a lifestyle business for us, that we aren’t doing now. We were all fine with doing them “in a few months,” but I have a nagging feeling that when a few months roll around, we’ll say the same thing and kick the can down the road.
This is the siren song of every startup – hell, every company – that I’ve ever been a part of: working yourself to death right now to serve an illusory future time where things are easier. And of course that time never comes.
I plan on seeing this company through to success. I also understand that, as with any startup, the odds of success are low . . . and that’s okay. But I would rather succeed or fail in the pursuit of exactly the kind of lifestyle business we planned on creating from the start, because what good is winning if you don’t like the life that winning gives you? Then it’s not really a win at all, is it?
For most people the money that comes from the win is motivation (and reward) enough, but money has never motivated me. I need something more important: I need to be true to myself.
I’ll be talking to the team about all this on Tuesday. I have some ideas to run by them.